Monday, 15 February 2016

Holiday, Pritt Stick and queuing!!!!

Good afternoon interweb, Mission control is all fired back up and running well, a two week absence from such technology really makes you appreciate it more when you are back with it.
The holiday or vacation as my friends over the pond call it went well for the most part with only the odd hiccup, which in all fairness for a grumpy old git like me is a top result.
Our neighbours in the adjacent villas were friendly enough right up till the last couple of days when 4 Italians moved in and displayed every stereotypical character going.
Shouting at the top of their voices even though they were next to one another and one of them had a body shape like that of Roger from American Dad,

Wearing budgie smugglers a large gold chain and the rest of his body looked liked it had been dabbed in numerous places with a Pritt Stick glue thing and then been rolled on the floor of a barbers shop.
Italian style? The hair in the crack of my ass has more style than this guy.
Anyhow I turned up the volume on my headphones and ignored them for the most part.
The sunsets were truly spectacular and I did on occasion get a few snaps of them with the hammock and posts to add interest.
This was between the times other people (mostly rather large ladies) were not walking out and getting in it to have their photo taken. I would imagine from the other side of the net hammock it would have looked like a bag of oranges in a net bag when they got into it but I digress.
One of the other things I noticed was peoples inability to hold a conversation with their partners.
I mean it's the Maldives for Christs sake and most couples will have been on honeymoon and yet I swear to god Viper and myself had more conversation than most.
Everybody in the bar at one point was sat with a partner and both parties were looking down into their mobile phones. No conversation or anything. They did this for maybe an hour or so before getting up and walking off.
Anyway the return home came around and a 06.00 hrs start on a speed boat got us to the airport in plenty of time to get a bit of duty free shopping in.
It was here that I rediscovered the fact that the concept of a queue is lost on most Europeans. One person is paying for some goods, there is a person stood behind that person and another behind them waiting patiently to pay for their goods. It's not a difficult concept to grasp, you simply join the queue BEHIND the last person, you do not go and stand the other side of the cashier and expect to be served next.
After a mad dash (again) through Dubai International to catch the connecting flight and around 11.5 hours in the air in total we finally arrived back at Manchester to freezing conditions and no handles left on Viper's suitcase. Thank you baggage handlers, it was a brand new suitcase after the wheels fell off her last one.
Made it back to Thumper and drove home through snow over Snake Pass.
Body clock totally fucked up.
There is also a rather annoying image on my blog from the advertising thing advertising "mature dating", cheeky bastards. I wouldn't mind but I haven't even been looking at such stuff in the first place, so much for targeted advertising.
And so after my travels I will simply leave you with this thought interweb,

Travel doesn't broaden the mind, it simply increases your levels of patience.

Peace out yall, THE BAGSTAXXX

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