Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Apple, Lube and Ice!!!

Good morning interweb,it looks bloody cold out there today. My black Jeep is very grey looking which means it is either coming out in sympathy for my ageing self or it’s covered in frost. I’m going with the latter as despite me arguing with lots of them lately it is an inanimate object.
Speaking of inanimate objects or just things in general that annoy you I have of late been getting very annoyed with some of them.
I am the only person who sits at the terminal of terror in my office and so when I click on “remember my details” Remember my fekking details you spanner, yes Facebook I’m talking to you. And you various forums that I visit to rant. And you Google.
Do you not think I’m bad tempered enough with the cabin fever that you have to arse around and remember me only some of the time? What did you do? Forget? Your a bloody computer programme you can’t forget, unless you have become self aware in which case we all have much bigger things to worry about. Ah sod it I’d just unplug you. 

The new bloody itunes layout is crap as well. Why cant they make stuff that just works. The new version refused to see my iphone so I googled for what the problem could be, that was after I had reminded Google of my password because it had forgotten it. The usual advice was written down by some spotty faced turd teenager, Turn it off and on again. Genius! Well this didn’t work but after 2 reboots opening and closing of programmes much swearing in the general direction of the terminal of terror and threatening to hurl the whole lot out of the f#####g window it just beeped and found it. What the hell was that all about, itunes FOUND my phone. It wasn’t f#####g lost you t###.
As the more astute of you have probably noticed I have cabin fever bad, and it is not improving my mood!!!! The pain in my right butt cheek and down my leg can only be likened to someone taking a red hot poker and shoving it up my ass wriggling it about a bit then pushing it down my leg. The fact that they did not use any lube, flavoured or otherwise actually makes my toes curl in involuntarily.
Not one but two consultants have consulted and decided that this isn’t right. I'm sure one of their son’s must work for apple writing the help line stuff for when itunes cant find your phone.
So appointments are to be made and consultations will take place which really means I will be talked at again. You never know, I may get to embarrass myself again singing Disney songs in a recovery room somewhere.
Right then enough of that, this ranting is making me feel so much better so the global warming lot can have some next. A few principles discussed, or more to the point me banging on about the errors of the logic of the majority.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A "HEAT TRAPPING GAS". A gas can become warmer by contact with something warmer or by infrared radiation shining on it or by pressure effects but it cannot trap anything. Air is a gas. Try trapping something with it. And if you do let me know so I can come and watch. 

They say (there they are again) that polar ice will melt and cause a big sea-level rise. Yet 91% of the world's glacial ice is in Antarctica, where the average temperature is around minus 40 degrees Celsius. The melting point of ice is zero degrees. So for the ice to melt on any scale the Antarctic temperature would need to rise by around 40 degrees, does anybody else see the flaw in this principle or am I really missing something. Maybe “they” work for apple too!!! The North Pole? Well that is mainly floating sea ice and melting sea ice does not raise sea levels. Or was Archimedes wrong? Have the catastrophic global warming greens simply overturned a 2500 year old basic principle of physics to make it fit in with their ideas? They could get a job at Apple!!!
Please don’t get me wrong interweb, yes there is a warming of the planet, there will be a cooling to, the planet does this. It has been doing it for several billion years. Get over it. You really are not that important that you and your electric car and your bag for life can change a planets destiny. If however you do think that you are  that important eat your dog, it has a bigger carbon footprint than my Jeep. Fact, live with it, or not if you eat it.
Right then interweb that feels better, so I will leave you cowering in the corner with some drivel, Many of us act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about, and don't think about risks to much,  just do what you want to do. If you gotta go, you gotta go.
Peace out yall, THE BAGSTAXXX

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