Monday, 23 April 2012

Showers, immigration and secretaries!!!

Good morning interweb, although I fail to see what is so good about it.
It is currently pissing down outside and the forecast is for rain followed by showers and intermittent rain. Oh and some bloody claims company decided to text me to claim for the accident that I have not had waking me up. Happy fekking days.
Right then now down to the business of the day, first of all Happy St George’s day, Saint George's Day is the feast day of Saint George, celebrated by various Christian churches and by the several nations, kingdoms, countries, and cities of which he is the patron saint. St George's Day is celebrated on 23 April, the traditionally accepted date of Saint George's death in AD 303. Not quite sure we should be celebrating his death but were a weird species.
In other news Britain is about to suffer another massive wave of immigration heading our way as usual from across the channel because the French are useless.
Government officials have warned that  this latest wave could easily get a foothold and cause chaos across England Scotland and Wales and they have admitted that we have little hope of stopping this latest wave but they have adopted a different approach to this latest threat to our borders.
The relevant forces in charge of defence against this latest threat have been advised to “Kill on sight and fire at will!!!” poor Will.
The use of rifles and water cannons has been approved in the defence of the realm. Vespa velutina nigrithorax or the Asian Hornet can destroy a bee colony in less than two hours, and our bees have not been having a good time lately as it is.
 Instead of raping our benefits system these little blighters capture bees and then tear their heads off followed by the wings and legs then use the remainder to feed their young.
I have decided I want a secretary, there Ive said it. I don’t care how sexist that sounds either. I don’t want a bloody “PA” or a logistics person, I want a secretary. Blond or brunette late twenties or early thirties will do but she must also wear glasses.

A good secretary is a force to be reckoned with, I know I have had to deal with a few in my time and they are fiercely protective of their employer and will usually sort out any shite before a boss was even aware of it. When oh when did this green and pleasant land become so bloody politically correct to the point it is annoying and you suffer grief for the want of a secretary?.
Right then now I have all that off my chest....... here is some drivel, There comes a time in every man's life and I've had many of them, they have made me aware that  we cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered. I would also remind you that rogues are preferable to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.

Peace out yall, THE BAGSTAXXX

N.B. due to the fact that this blog post has been typed, and some people have had a sense of humour bypass please note that portions of this may have been written with my tongue firmly pressed into my cheek so keep your whiny arsed comments to yourself. If I had a secretary she would stop me from receiving them but alas I do not.

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