Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Rain, dead dolphins and psychiatrists!!!

Good afternoon interweb, my forecasting of the weather appears to be correct as it is currently still pissing it down out there and with no sign of letting up either.
Google has forecast that it will be raining for at least the next seven days which will make the job of putting our double glazing in fun.

In my quest to find a secretary I have been looking online, oh my oh my.
It would appear that if you do a google image  search for secretary (with safe search off) that many of them do not come with clothing other than the glasses which I did specify. I really can’t see my better half allowing that sort of thing. But if that’s what secretaries in this day and age wear who the hell am I to argue.
It also appears that they perform the act of fellatio as part of their job!!!!!! To coin a phrase from the youth of today, “WHATEVERRRRR”.
Right then, in other news from the other side of the world scientists in Peru are trying to solve a mystery as to why around 900 carcasses of bottle nosed dolphins have washed up on a 100 mile stretch of beach in a state of advanced decomposition.
Is it a coincidence that Houston based oil company BPZ may have been using underwater explosions in the name of oil exploration?
Gabriel Quijandria Peru’s environment minister seems to think that it is more likely a powerful virus of some kind.
However after examination of some of the animals it was found that they have broken bones in their ears and collapsed organs which would be consistent with sound wave damage. Some of the dolphins also had bubbles and blood in their sinuses which is consistent with rapid ascent due to panic resulting in the bends.
Changing tack slightly it has come to my attention that psychiatrists can sometimes be very annoying, what with their long dark hair falling down over their tight fitting red cashmere sweater accentuating natures gifts, tilting the head slightly whilst adjusting their glasses to my comment that I think everybody hates me. The reply don’t be silly everybody hasn’t met you yet was not quite the reply I was expecting but I do believe I have found my new secretary, but I’m not sure I can pay her the amount she will have become accustomed too in her current profession.
So here is some drivel, Whenever it is in any way possible, every boy and girl should choose as his or her life work some occupation which he should like to do anyhow, even if he did not need the money and over the years I have come to realise that confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.

Peace out yall, THE BAGSTAXXX

1 comment:

  1. Some of those secretaries may actually smell like a deceased dolphin, so please be careful.