Friday, 13 April 2012

Grumpy badger, Hitler and the Future!!!


Good afternoon interweb, and how are we today?
I’m grumpy as ever and would like to share some knowledge with you that may help you if you are anywhere near as grumpy as I am.
One of the most annoying things that people say to me when I'm grumping around like a hungry honey badger is “smile, it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile”
Piss off you patronising twat and no it fekking doesn’t.
In actual fact it takes one more muscle to smile than it does to frown. So piss off and go and annoy somebody else with your cheerfulness.
There are in fact fifty three muscles in the human face  twelve of which are required for you to smile. Only eleven of them are required to frown like a big sourpuss.
However if you really want to be lazy and piss people off the easiest thing to do is to give an insincere smile.
It only takes two muscles to pull the mouth sideways whilst fixing your subject with a withering gaze.
In other news, Hitler was not as many people believe a vegetarian and he did suffer from chronic flatulence. To try and solve this problem he regularly had injections of a high protein serum derived from pulverised bull testicles, quite a long way from lentil soup I think you'll find.
Anyway enough of this frivolity and cheerfulness, (not quite so frivolous if you were a German bull in the early 1940’s) and on with the drivel,
It is only when one loses the deep intimate relationship with nature and the universe, that temples, mosques and churches become important. I would also like to say that I have seen the future, in my dreams, awake and asleep and it doesn’t work!!!!
Peace out yall, THE BAGSTAXXX

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