Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Birthdays, toothpaste and cynicism!!!


Good morning interweb, Well another year has passed as I slip deftly into my 43rd year I cant help but feel a twinge of sadness. As Douglas Adams put it, “42, the answer to life the universe and everything” in the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. 42 is now gone and I am by all accounts a lot healthier if not substantially grumpier. On that last note I was thinking that the people who I actually give a rats ass about know full well I'm a grumpy old badger and simply ignore the fact dismissing any protestations I have about anything with simple phrases such as “would you like a drink?” or “yes dear, calm down”.
These people I call my friends and I would go to the ends of the earth for them.
There are not that many of them but that is probably my unconscious mind taking over as it is fully aware of the fact that one good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
It’s not even 10.00 hours yet and several people have already found the need to remind me that I am 43, and getting old.
 I do not need these people to remind me of the fact I'm 43, my aching body and weak bladder tell me often enough thank you.
I share my birthday with Aldo Andretti the twin of Mario the racing driver not the dodgy plumber. Also my birthday coincides with Charles Blondin’s birthday, he was the first man to ever walk above Niagara falls on a tight rope in 1824. Bloody idiot if you ask me. 

I proved to myself this morning that I really shouldn’t get up this early. I woke and ran excitedly down the stairs to turn on the PS3 to see if the new maps had arrived, they hadn’t but I was awake so my bladder reminded me I was old and needed the bathroom.
 Whilst there I decided to have a wash etc and clean my teeth. The Oral B pro toothpaste tube looks exactly the same as the tube of E45 cream sat on the ledge and without my glasses this could have gone one of two ways. Unfortunately for me it went the way of me attempting to brush my teeth with moisturising cream. I did stop at that point so saved myself the abject humiliation of rubbing toothpaste on my crumbling skin.
Benjamin Franklin once said “Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.” I think the guy was onto something there you know. I would add to that as a fact that if all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world. That maybe cynical of me but isn’t cynicism is an unpleasant way of telling the truth?
Anyway interweb I'm going to shamble this ageing carcass off for some breakfast but for my friends across the pond remember this, “A cut glass English accent can fool unsuspecting Americans into detecting a brilliance that isn't there” LOL;)
Peace out y'all, THE BAGSTAXXX

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