Friday, 19 August 2011

You is not a gangsta, you is a gobshite, innit!!!!!

Hello interweb, Today I'm going to be old and grumpy, that's because I am, and I intend to exercise my right to be old and grumpy to its fullest extent.
I will start my grumpy ramblings today with an observation if you will. It is generally an observation that has probably been observed for generations about one generation to another and that's a lot of generations. Cave men probably moaned about those young upstarts with their fur wrap rounds, we never had them in our day, just a spear n me bollocks blowing in the breeze.
You see the other evening I nearly crashed the truck whilst laughing so hard at some young guy who looked exactly like the the kid from the “pretty fly (for a white guy”) video.

The hat on the piss, the bling the stupid bloody hand gestures and his trousers half way down his legs. He really did look like a complete tool! I felt like asking him if he had looked in the mirror before he came out, I also felt like running over him and putting him and the rest of the world out of the misery of it all, he will probably breed at some point and that can't end well.
I have seen this kind of thing before and it always makes me grimace.
Why do you attempt to talk like you is a gangsta? And why can you not string a coherent sentence together that does not include the phrase “innit”  You is not dopey razzle or whatever his bloody name is and you is not gonna get laid by trying to pretend dat you is. (I think ive nearly got da lingo down now innit). The kid seriously looked like some sort trailer park red neck inbred offspring and to cap it all off he had ginger hair and was wearing a bright red baseball cap offset at 90 degrees. Whilst I have nothing against red heads per se this was not a good look.
It brought to mind one of my favourite quotes, “its amazing what you see when you ain't got your gun”
I see them down at the gym as well, they usually go prepared though, at least a group of 3 all wearing hoodies with great big waste paper basket  sized headphones on following one another from one piece of equipment to the other sucking their teeth in your general direction.
You see this coupled with the recent civil unrest in my green and pleasant land has to make you think that a good dose of 2 years national service wouldn’t go a miss and if you got caught rioting you can go on point ya little shite.
Anyway, many of my fellow 30 uppers are descending on Chicago for the weekend on the annual meet and greet and may I wish them all a fab weekend. I will make it across the pond one day to see you all, ( or Y’all as you say) Hmmmm going hunting wabbits with LC and an assault rifle sounds like my kinda fun.
Right, now I feel a bit better for getting that off my chest I shall go and find food.

Peace out yall THE BAGSTAXXX

No comments:

Post a Comment