In the beginning, there was a bloody big bang, not like a firework going off or a shotgun or even a nuclear weapon. When I say bloody big, I mean huge, you couldn’t even begin to imagine how big a bang it was. Matter and antimatter had a meeting and this was never going to end well, think Man Utd and Liverpool fans, or commies and capitalists. It went bang with a universe creating kind of whoosh. This is the technical explanation according to some scientist bloke, E=MC2.
When matter and antimatter meet they form energy. It has long been believed that both existed in equal quantities which has led many people to wonder why matter won out. Well in layman’s terms antimatter wobbles about 30.000 times a second and this breaks down the antimatter, this leaves about a 1% difference in the strength of matter over antimatter and explains why we are all here.
Right now I have cleaned up that small matter (no pun intended) I cannot help but remember my school days, best days of your life may arse!!!
I hated school days right up until my last few months which was when the universe started balancing out and all those bastards that bullied me and generally gave me a hard time got some bagsta luuuurve. (ps3 reference, you need to be there).
I remember P.E. or gym class to our friends across the pond. One of the teachers was a well proportioned chap who always wore a track suit, really not a good look when your body has it’s own postcode and gravitational force, 1st years would veer off track as he walked by.
I remember not been that interested at sports that much but was pretty good at tennis and cricket, It always brought a smile to my face when beating one of the “jocks” or “cool” kids and they say “Don’t tell anyone” pmsl. Despite not getting that many higher education certificates etc I seem to have fared a damn site better than many of the wankers that I went to school with in all aspects of life.
If there was a time in my life that I could revisit it would be my early twenties and only then if I could keep the extra 20 years knowledge. What a blast that was, a time when even I could get some. Yorkshireman’s arms with the Sex Kittens on the decks blasting out ya fave rock tracks, across the road and downstairs into the Wap for a few brown ales, back up to the Sportsman for yet more beers then off down to “REBELS” Les on the decks brown stuff dripping from the ceilings music so loud your cant think, strange smelling cigs and white powder all over the cistern tops and cans of RED STRIPE. Ah well, until I invent the time machine or work out a way to travel to parallel universes ill just have to stick with my memories, I also have the small matter of building a spaceship capable of light speed to build so I am a bit busy at the moment.
All in all though, I think at the moment in this particular life things couldn’t really be that much better. (with the exception of my neighbours that is). They are building a patio now, Im sure you don’t need me to point out the obvious thoughts on my mind!!!!!!! Death by paving stone and buried by breakfast. Did I just type that........ Oops,