Friday, 8 July 2011

listening, massive tits and cellulite!!!!!


Well hello interweb, how are we all today? Yes you can answer but just like most people I won’t listen. You see I've found this to be a problem with a large amount of people who I meet, everybody has something to say and whilst they appear to be hearing you they are not actually listening to a word you are saying, they are in their mind listening to what they are going to say next. I am as guilty of this as the next person but of late I have actually started to listen to people and read their body language at the same time. It can be amazing what comes out of peoples mouths and what they are ACTUALLY saying to you if you only listen and look.
Well enough about that, I went to the pub last night and had a few, Chatting to one of the landlords and one of his pretty ladies who work for him. I was told a story that had tears of laughter rolling down my face.It involved my best mate and best man at my wedding, Kieth. Kieth is vertically challenged, from Newcastle and ginger. He has a heart the size of Texas but after a few drinks some of his social skills tend to take a back seat.
Pretty lady from behind the bar has a friend staying with her and she was in the bar chatting to Kieth. She was ginger as well and Kieth decided to start chatting about how it was a form of racism etc that ginger people suffered etc etc etc.
His closing statement in this conversation was one that will stay with me forever.
(spoken in strong northeast accent)
“you may be ginger but you'll be alright cos you've got massive tits!!”
God bless you Kieth. The most amazing thing was that this wee girl, far from punching him in the mouth turned to him and said, “ahh thank you”
Priceless.
The chef had stuffed a load of money in the bandit and not won a great deal so I did something I hardly ever do which was to put a quid in the bandit, and won a fiver, result, did the same again...... fiver, after putting in 7 quid I was twenty quid up. Not bad and paid for a few beers.
I was told by Johnny the other day whilst at the range an interesting thing but forgot to mention it. Did you know that a golf ball will travel faster in earths atmosphere than it will in a vacuum? No neither did I, something to do with the dimples apparently, I wonder if that means women with cellulite on their asses will do the same? I now wonder how long I will live if any women reading this that have cellulite on their ass know me. Hmmm a quandary indeed.
Took a wander around Derwent and Howden water yesterday, I was actually passing on my knowledge of photography to somebody else who was passing on large quantities of their hard earned cash for the privilege. Never thought anybody would actually pay me for something that I know.

Anyway I'm rambling again and I hate ramblers, the walking type I mean as you would know if you had read some of my earlier blog posts, so its goodbye from me for now.
See yall laters, THE BAGSTA XX

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