Wednesday, 8 June 2011

Scout party's and parallel universes!!!!


I have a theory.......... Now stop face palming yourself and just listen damn it. Ok well read on then.
I will try to explain but those of you that know me will also know that making myself understood at times can be quite difficult but I'm going to ramble on anyhow.
You see I have this theory about parallel universes, I think that they do exist and I think that they are connected via our dreams. Now now put the phone down, the men with the huggy huggy jackets are sick of calling round to our house so tough.
You see I think that as we dream we create a channel to the other universe or maybe even more than one and we can experience what our self has been up to in the other universes.
Ever had that feeling of deja vu? Well that is probably because you have already experienced what you are experiencing in another universe. The same goes for that sixth sense that we sometimes get. When you know something is not going to end well and it doesn’t.
Now you see, I do not think that our whole self is transported during our dreams but kind of a scout party with Swiss army knives and all singing ging gang goooley gooley goooley watcha, whatever that means.
Unfortunately for me I believe that part of my scout party got stuck and part of the scout party that was visiting me also got stuck here in this universe.
It’s the only rational (“pause for laughter”) explanation.
Ive halved my drinking, quit smoking, eat in a much more healthy manner, Ive lost weight and am exercising on a regular basis in a gym and for the most part am generally a more pleasant person. Damn it I even get up well before my usual 10.00 hours.
Me Julie who I work at the hospital with is in complete shock, she is convinced that I will be turning to religion next and is very suspect when I work a shift with her. I sometimes just have to have an outburst of expletives for no good reason to calm her down and help her relax.
All this is very well and good in this universe but what about the poor buggers who are left with a portion of the BAGSTA that we all know and love, vino drinking kebab munching smoking swearing fatty. Will he return? If so when? What kind of havoc is he reaping on another unsuspecting universe?
Or maybe (are you allowed to start a sentence with the word or?) my soul is off to be rehabilitated.
Maybe the nice me is just a watcher who has been placed inside me as a kind of caretaker whilst the largest part of my soul is off being punished for my sins and will be replaced once it’s sentence and torture are over. Maybe my watcher has to sleep and it is on these occasions that I get to write my blog and theorise over these issues, it could well be that a part of me has to be left within me just to give credibility to the fact I am still the same person. Now that would explain a lot.
Right I think hes waking up now so I'm off for some grape juice, hmmmm yummy!
Peace out yall, THE BAGSTAXX

Update.... I have just been informed that if I STOP drinking Jen will have me sectioned!

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