Its Fi's birthday coming up in a few days and when I asked her what she wanted she replied "a cross trainer" I said that I would be more than happy to shout at her and insult her whilst making her run up and down the stairs but apparently that is not what she had in mind as my now bruised arm will testify. Well it would if it could speak.
What she had in mind was one of the strangest looking contraptions known to man, a lot stranger looking than my hedge cutting contraption that's for sure and probably just as dangerous.
Anyway We found one on good old ebay for not much money and it was delivered yesterday in a big box of rattling things. I nearly did myself a mischief trying to pick it up but managed to get it round the back of the house to begin its assembly.
Only took about half an hour of swearing and scuffed knuckles to get this thing built and been as I'm a gentleman thought it would be best if I tried it first. Why o why do I do these things?
The fucking idiot that had sold it too us must be sat waiting for us to send it back as it couldn't have worked for him. Why? Because the stupid twat had put the pedals on wrong. Left hand side down at 6 o'clock the right hand side should be at 12 o'clock. Well the spectacular that was my arms and legs going in all sorts of directions had to be seen to be believed but Fi couldn't stop laughing and I'm sure even today when she smiled at me she was thinking of that image. You see cross trainers don't work too well when the left pedal is at 6 o'clock and the right one is at quarter past 12.
Well After a bit more fiddling and explaining how it wasn't that bloody funny I got the damn thing up and running.
I have however discovered that this love machine that is my body really isn't designed to do exercise. Must try harder as go away in 3 weeks and last year Greenpeace kept trying to push me back in the sea!!
I also tried trimming the hedge in the garden but only have small decorators a frame ladders which would not let me get anywhere near the top of the conifers so I looked around the garden and improvised a bit. It was a surprisingly sturdy structure actually although Fi did face palm when she saw it and suggested that I stop as we go away soon and a broken leg would not be a good idea. Bless her she's not daft you know.